Time
by Anastasia Khushrenada
Summary: Who are the Gundam pilots five years after the wars? What do they look like and what changes has time wrought upon them? A look at the pilots, who they are and what they've been through. Warning: Shounen-aiyaoi.
1. Trowa's Story

TITLE: Time  
  
AUTHOR: Anastasia  
  
PAIRINGS: 1 x 2, 3 x 4. . . 5 x Gorilla - ha ha, No, not really! *laughs*  
  
WARNINGS: Yaoi/shounen-ai, AU (Well, it might not be. Except I took some liberties with the pilots pasts), language, some angst, some fluff, set after Endless Waltz, perhaps a few spoilers. . . not to many. POV and not POV.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
NOTES: Series of ficlets, basically. Some in POV, others not. Each ficlet is based on the words to a certain verse of the song. Tell me what you think! I haven't done this Before!!!!!  
  
FEEDBACK: I crave - please?? I'll love you forever!! Even more than I love my Fruits Basket boxed set!!!  
  
DEDICATION: This is one of my favourite songs on Black and Blue. So, This is to anyone else who likes Backstreet Boys!!!!!! (I am pretty sure I am on my own)  
  
MORE NOTES: I was going to do this as one post. . . but then I had a look at it when it was finished. It took up more than 20 pages, so I am just going to post them separately. Read in Order or you'll miss things!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
//I know that I, I can't believe  
  
Just what the past has brought me  
  
To the man I wanna be  
  
I know that we have had some times  
  
That we can't forget the struggle  
  
Cause we have so far to go//  
  
Trowa:  
  
Christmas Eve. It's hard to believe that we have made it this far. It's been five years since the last major threat to peace, the peace that we, the Gundam Pilots, helped create through bloodshed. So much bloodshed.  
  
And it seems that the people of today are already starting to forget our sacrifices. It's a shame, and yet I am partially glad. Some people are beginning to forget, they are no longer calling me a killer when I pass them in the streets. But that is what I am, no matter where I am now or how much I believe I have changed.  
  
I was a no name when I began. I took someone else's name. And yet, although I was a no name back then, I am that person now. I respond to the name Trowa immediately. And it's my legal name. Quatre fixed that for me. Doing one of those things that he does that makes me feel more like a somebody and less like a nobody.  
  
I am glad of the war, in a way. If I hadn't been fighting in Heavyarms that day, fighting for the freedom of the colonies, I would never have met Quatre, my life partner.  
  
After the Mariemeia incident I went back to the circus. Quatre found me there. He searched for me and found me. He told me that he would love my company and would love to work along side me again.  
  
I consented to working in Preventers with him and, not a month later; I was living in Quatre's house. I must admit it was strange for a time, six months in fact, living with the man I longed for but thought I would never get. I didn't think that someone with no name would be worthy of the heir to the Winner fortune.  
  
Then, one night, we were drunk and Quatre confessed. I confessed as well, confessed my love for him. I refused him that night, however, telling him my reasoning behind why he shouldn't like me, why I didn't deserve him. The next day Trowa Barton was my legal name and Quatre was asking me out.  
  
It's strange to think about it but I am where I want to be, now - working in Preventers, one of the top agents; living with the man of my dreams, and; three great friends behind my back whenever I need them. But I can never forget the path that was taken to reach this happiness. The path that was taken to reach this peace, both for me and for the world and for the colonies, was one that was marred with thousands of lost lives - a sea of blood and tears. No matter what happens in the future, I can not lose sight of the past.  
  
I have a long way to go yet with Quatre. I have a long way to go before I fully understand my friends. I have a lot of work ahead of me to keep this tentative peace that exists now. I hope that, so long as I keep sight of the past, I will be able to face the future confidently.  
  
We can't forget our struggle, because we still have so far to go. I understand and I accept. 


	2. Christmas Eve

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//I know we've changed but  
  
Change can be so good  
  
So let's not forget why  
  
It's understood that//  
  
Duo ran his hand through is hair. Damn, he loved the feel of it now that it was short. After he was sure that he had put all of his old ghosts to rest he had cut his hair short, breaking himself from his past. Heero would be around soon to pick him up for the Christmas party that Quatre was planning. He had dressed in a red and green suit, befitting of the holiday that they would be inadvertently celebrated along with the celebration of the end of the wars. Although, he did think that he looked a little like a mutilated holly branch.  
  
Heero knocked on the door, waiting for Duo to answer. Duo opened the door with a smile, spinning in a circle so that his boyfriend could appreciate what he was wearing. Heero raised an eyebrow at the colour before snorting.  
  
"Duo, you look AWFUL! What happened to the colour sense I was beginning to see you acquire? You know, the colour sense that /doesn't/ include your theory that because 'black is the presence of all colour, you can't go wrong!'"  
  
Duo poked his tongue out at Heero before pulling the blue-eyed Japanese mans ponytail out. Heero had grown his hair long now that he didn't need to concentrate on missions as much. He had also grown a personality that was almost as fun-loving as Duo's.  
  
"Hey, that took me AGES!! Baka!" Heero called at Duo's back, who was heading towards the car. He quickly pulled a hair-tie out from his pocket and pulled his brown hair back again. Then he followed his boyfriend to the car.  
  
After the short drive, Duo bounced out of the car, quickly followed by Heero, who was muttering about insane hollybranches and even more insane radio stations. Wufei was near the door, talking to a baby gorilla that he had in his arms.  
  
"WUFEI!" Heero called out from the bottom of the staircase leading to Quatre's mansion, before racing Duo to the Chinese man.  
  
Wufei stopped his one sided conversation and turned to glare at the other Asian man. "Sh! I only just managed to get Momiji to sleep!" He hissed.  
  
Duo laughed. "Nice one, brainiack!" he said as he slapped Heero across the head, messing up the perfect ponytail once again.  
  
Wufei, after spending a year with the Preventers full time, decided that he needed something else to fulfil his life. So he had applied to look after the young animals at a large Zoo that was in his area. The Shenlong pilot had adored this work and moved to part time work with Preventers so that he could spend more time looking after his young charges. Now he was rarely seen without a young animal clinging to him. Snakes and gorilla's were his favourites, as he seemed to be able to handle them better.  
  
"Um, is your hair supposed to have a purple tint?" Duo asked, squinting at Wufei's hair.  
  
"Is your outfit supposed to look like someone tried to eat an entire holly branch and threw it back up?" came the retort.  
  
"I thought your hair was blonde last week." Heero said, following Duo's example and squinting at Wufei's head.  
  
"THAT was last week! I have a new tattoo as well."  
  
"Another dragon one?" Duo asked.  
  
"Yes, this one is a water dragon. He's on my left forearm." Wufei informed them haughtily, shifting the gorilla and lifting his sleeve so show it off.  
  
Heero looked puzzled as he asked, "Aren't you running out of space?"  
  
"I haven't started on my legs yet." Wufei said, huffing a bit.  
  
"Oh, you got Wufei's knickers in a knot, Heero." Duo teased before jumping out of both Wufei's and Heero's arms reach.  
  
Heero gave Duo a withering look before walking into Quatre's house. Duo waved to Wufei before following Heero inside.  
  
"Yo! Trow-a!" Duo called.  
  
Trowa emerged from the kitchen. "Quatre'll be here soon. Sit tight, you two."  
  
Heero and Duo were then left in the hall, waiting for Quatre. After sharing a look they both couldn't help it, they burst out laughing. Trowa, when he had addressed them, had been wearing a frilly white apron. That, coupled with his current choice of hair style - layered much like Jon Bon Jovi had his in 2001 - gave the tall pilot a very feminie look.  
  
A thudding and hushed shuffling cause both of the pilots to quiet down. It was the sound of Quatre's approach brought them out of their laughter.  
  
Quatre walked towards them with his walking stick much like one of the old victims of polio. His gait was twisting to accommodate his leg. He had been involved in an accident in a Preventers mission a year ago and they hadn't been able to repair his leg. In fact, the blonde man was lucky to still have his leg and not some part plastic, part mechanical replacement. However, his knee was now useless and the length of his legs uneven. He also needed a walking stick to make his way around.  
  
A smile lit Quatre's face as he looked upon his friends. "Glad you could make it." He said, slightly out of breath from his walk to the front of the house.  
  
"No problem, Quatre! You know we wouldn't miss spending time with you!" Heero said with enthusiasm as Duo nodded his agreement.  
  
After Quatre had been injured he had stopped working full time at preventers and had given Winner Corporations over to his sisters. He wasn't able to keep up the work. This was, in some ways, a good thing. Before Quatre had been injured, he had been working eighteen hour days, only stopping when he was forced to eat or when exhaustion prevented him from working. He had been hurting himself with the effort of looking after the peace and his company. He had been in hospital three times, and had gone on the mission that had resulted in his disfigurement against doctors' advice. However, the injury had allowed Quatre to regain his health and, to all appearances, his love of life.  
  
"Right, lets eat!" Duo said with a laugh.  
  
"As soon as Trowa's ready." Quatre laughed, grabbing the back of Duo's shirt to slow his pace before winking. "We'll go into the dining room to encourage him to work faster, though."  
  
Heero grinned and called out to Wufei. "Oi, 'Fei! Stop making out with your gorilla and put 'im down for a bit. I am sure he'll survive for an hour while you have some fun. Besides, we want to eat!"  
  
Duo gave Heero five while they heard Wufei put his Gorilla in its temporary bed. Then they heard Wufei's stomping footsteps approaching, signalling his indignation at Heero's comment.  
  
"What, may I ask, gave you the impression that I MAKE OUT WITH MY GORILLA?!" Wufei part hissed, part yelled.  
  
"Oh, so you do!" Heero laughed as Duo called out from the other side of the room.  
  
"MAXWELL!" Wufei yelled.  
  
"Dinner!" Trowa called, stepping between Wufei and Duo with a plate of food.  
  
Quatre laughed and took his place at the table. This was going to be a good Christmas. 


	3. Quatre's Story

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//Time, look where we are and what we've been through  
  
Time, sharing our dreams  
  
Time, goes on and on everyday, baby  
  
Time is what it is  
  
Come what may(come what may)//  
  
Quatre:  
  
The Christmas Eve celebrations held at my house were successful, to say the least. After we ate our fill of the wonderful meal that Trowa had made us, we went and sat on the back veranda. Trowa massaged my leg, intuitively knowing that it was sensitive to the cool air.  
  
I looked at my fellow pilots while they talked and laughed together. We had all changed so much. I can remember a time when Heero's only aim in life was to achieve peace. That was all - there was nothing else to his life. And after the war he hadn't coped very well. Now, to see him laughing and teasing Wufei and Duo, it brought a smile to my face.  
  
Heero had tried, multiple times, to end his life. None of us knew, of course. He had moved around so much it was hard for everyone to keep in touch with him. And Duo had been wasting himself away on alcohol and drugs, disguising it behind a smiling façade and clubbing.  
  
One day Heero and Duo had found each other. Duo was high and Heero was stabbing himself repeatedly with a toothpick at the bar in a club when Duo had approached Heero. Heero had been shocked at Duo's appearance and, after Duo had come down from his high, he had been equally shocked at the amount of scars covering Heero's body. So they had helped each other and rebuilt themselves.  
  
I can remember that we had so many dreams, dreams related to our experiences in the war, selfish dreams, and dreams for the world. It's all changed over the time that we have known each other with some of our dreams coming to fruition, while others were crushed.  
  
My dream used to be to get away from my family - to run away and never look back. I suppose that dream is virtually impossible now, seeing as I can no longer run. Then I had a dream to help achieve peace and to prove to my father that what I was doing was the right path. After the war, my dream was to be with Trowa, although I think that was a dream that began during the war along with another related to one of my friends. Now, I have Trowa by my side through everything. The only real thing that I want is for the laughter to continue when I walk into a room.  
  
It's strange how much one stupid mistake can affect us later on in life. I was stupid and went on a mission when my body was not at its peak. I paid the price with my mobility originally. Now, I can see the other changes that the injury has wrought. When I enter a room, no matter who is in it, the conversation either stops or takes on a sombre note. When the other pilots are having a bit of fun they seem to feel the need, perhaps because they believe that I am now at a disadvantage, to stop their previous form of amusement and to create another that I am involved in.  
  
Or maybe this is me thinking pessimistically. Yet again. There's another change. I was the type of person who would always say that the 'glass is half full'. I was always telling other to keep trying and to never give up. Now, I can't. I know how depression can feel. I know that when depression sets in no matter how someone else tries it won't help. Nothing can help. Certain things may distract but it takes time, a lot of time, to force yourself to overcome it. And at the moment, I don't think that Trowa will ever be enough to help me overcome this.  
  
Maybe that is just the passage of time. Time, who is more than likely the brother of Death, bring sorrow to all in the end. Or perhaps it's the Father of Death, because without time there could be no death. Without the changing process of time, death could not have an effect.  
  
Trowa is looking concerned now. I think that these thoughts are showing in my expression. But I do try to keep his concern at bay. I know he suspects that the accident changed me in ways other than physical but he still doesn't know for sure. And I'm not about to tell him.  
  
That would wreak my dream of being happy living with Trowa even if I can't have everything I want. I wanted the perfect relationship with true balance. I know it won't and isn't that way but. . . I want the illusion to last for as long as I can make it work.  
  
Thinking about it now, I can see how much I have changed. My thoughts while watching my friends have fun would have been filled with witty remarks to throw at them. I would be laughing and flirting with Trowa. But now. . . I put on the mask of who I used to be and face the day with a shadow of a smile. It's time that's changed us all. It's time that we can never have back. 


	4. Wufei's Story

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//I remember when, mom used to say  
  
That things are getting better  
  
And you'll soon be on your way  
  
Remember those days  
  
When we would sing (or fight) at the drop of a dime (Oooh)  
  
Way back when nothing mattered (Mmm, mm, mm)//  
  
Wufei:  
  
"I can see that you've been crying, You can't hide it with a lie, What's the use. . ."  
  
". . . In your sing-ing, Cause it's, real-ly, tu-ne-less."  
  
"You are singing to your goril-la. What is next? You're making ou-t! That tongue action your display-ing . . . it real-ly, gross-es, me out."  
  
I growl at Heero's and Duo's made up lyrics. Heero was being the more creative, which was surprising. A few years ago and I would have scoffed at anyone who suggested it. It's strange how things change with time. I feel slightly annoyed at the pair because what had begun as my singing my mother's favourite song had been turned into a reference to my making out with a gorilla. I suppose I can't hold it against them - they obviously aren't in the 'mood' yet. Perhaps they are having. . . trouble in. . . private matters - matters involving certain mechanisms working properly. I smirk at the idea and decide that my private musings are enough revenge - I don't need to seek justice just yet.  
  
Their chosen subject to annoy me with tonight had made me irritated me to no end. I would never dishonour myself my doing that. Not only was it wrong by terms of morals and natural order, but to do it after singing a song that bore such a close tie to my honour bound mother would have been. . . lets say that by Christian beliefs - I would burn in hell for eternity. I think I will have to extract my revenge in the morning.  
  
I move out of the house and into the garden, still cradling the little gorilla in my arms. She is still only very small, and very alone. I can't help but feel for a motherless creature, no matter the form.  
  
My mother, while nearly obsessed with honour and the best interests of the clan, had cared for me greatly. She had been the one to encourage me to keep pursuing my practice of the martial arts when most just wanted me to stay with becoming a scholar. And while I did keep up the outward appearance of being only concerned with academics, my mother was the only one who knew my true ability in martial arts. She had helped me through the stages when I fell behind, when I thought about giving up. After I became proficient I would go through my kata's as soon as the first syllable asking me to practice was out of my mother's mouth.  
  
I never thought that I would ever need to use my training. It never, ever occurred to me while I was training that I might one day need to use my technique to kill others. I think my mother might have had some of the 'sight' that my clan's legends told about. She knew when she would last get to see me, knew that I would need my training. I never thanked her for it, though.  
  
That was back before a lot of things happened; before a lot of things changed. I don't think that I would believe anyone who told me, back then, that I would have over twenty-five tattoo's before I reached the age of thirty. I might have broken their arm for implying that I would dishonour my body, who knows? I was much more uptight then. Very anal retentive. Then again, so was Yuy.  
  
I appreciate the person I am now. A new hair colour every week, a new tattoo every month, a few piercing. I am happy with the person I have become. I am not as respectable, I know that. I wouldn't be acceptable to preventers anymore. But I have left that in my past, even though it's never left my mind. I can't forget who I am or the pain that I have endured. I will never forget what it took to make me who I am, but I have placed it in the past.  
  
The passion and love that I have for life now and the care that I can express to other life-forms. . . it's a very good reason to lose a little respect. A very good reason. My friends still care for me, no matter what I look like on the outside. And I know that they recognise that I am a better person for the changes that I have been through.  
  
I am not so sure about Quatre. The changes that he has been through. . . it isn't obvious whether or not they have had a positive effect on him. Sure, his heath is improving, but his spirit is. . . it's more bitter than the man we once knew. He isn't the same anymore. None of us are, but Quatre seems to be the only one of us who began with it all - the happiness and contentment - and ended up with none of it. He broods a lot and Trowa doesn't notice. Trowa loves Quatre but he doesn't look much past the exterior that Quatre presents to us. I think that Quatre is the only person that Trowa doesn't look beyond. He is normally a very observant person. I suppose we all have blind spots when it comes to those we love.  
  
I wonder if I'll ever find someone to love. I love my work, but I know that eventually I am going to have to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know if they are going to be male or female, and I don't think I care. It's never mattered to me. Finding someone has never really mattered to me.  
  
I would like to try and see if Quatre and Trowa have a spare space in their hearts. But I doubt it. I can see that their relationship is unbalanced, but I don't think that they would ever be interested in anything like that. I will just have to hope that one day I will find someone who loves me, with all their heart. And that we balance each other.  
  
None of that mattered in my past, but now I can see that I would dearly love it. How times change.  
  
Anastasia  
  
~*~ Proud member of SDDI ~*~ ~*~ Proud member of SDQB ~*~ -~-~-~General of the Baka Brigade!!~-~-~-~- 


	5. New Year's Eve

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//I know we've changed, but  
  
Change can be so good  
  
Oh so let's not forget why it's understood that//  
  
New Years Eve:  
  
Trowa stopped dead in his tracks. Wufei's house loomed in front of them - a haunted mansion in the middle of other equally old and haunted dwellings. It was a surprise, to say the least. The black curtains billowing out the window seemed to give it a certain . . . something, that was for sure.  
  
Quatre hobbled up beside the green-eyed man. He let out a low breath.  
  
"Wow, I wouldn't think that Wufei could be that daring. It looks like a house of a gothic."  
  
"Well, I think he's getting into witchcraft. Maybe he thinks that this adds to his 'Goddess side'." Quatre smirked as Trowa muttered to him.  
  
Duo came up behind the pair. "Now, come on! You should know that Wufei tried being a gothic and then decided that he wanted to be a witch. He has the black now because he likes it!"  
  
"That and it keeps door to door salesmen away." Heero smirked at Duo. "That way he can never be interrupted with his /precious/ animals."  
  
Duo laughed and gave Heero a high-five. Trowa and Quatre just rolled their eyes. Poor Wufei - he was in for it tonight.  
  
They reached the front door and a car was parked outside. All four men found this strange as they weren't expecting anyone else their for their New Years celebrations.  
  
They knocked on the 2 meter high wooden front door and wait for Wufei to answer. It took a full minute, which seemed out of character. Wufei answered the door with his face flushed as though he had been either arguing or interrupted in the middle of an intimate moment.  
  
"Ah. . . you're here already. . . uh. . . come in. Take a seat in the eating area, I'll show you to the lounge room shortly." Wufei looked very uncomfortable.  
  
"We know the way, 'Fei. You don't need to show us to the lounge room." Heero stated, aching to know what was up with the flushed man.  
  
"No. Stay away for a bit. I just need to. . . finish something." His voice was hard and certain.  
  
Duo and Heero looked carefully at Wufei. Something was going on. Quatre and Trowa were wondering exactly what had gotten into the Chinese man.  
  
Wufei turned and walked into a near by door. The other pilots stood still behind him, not quite ready to move if they had a chance to find out what was going on.  
  
As Wufei shut the door behind him, he let out a sigh and crossed to the man sitting on the couch in front of him. He held out his hand and lent a friendly hand to help him stand. Purple hair fluttered down across Wufei's visitor's eyes and Wufei knew that what he was about to do was going to be hard.  
  
The man was slightly taller than Wufei and he had to look up slightly to meet the other man's eyes. "I don't want to argue again, and this isn't about the argument that we just had, but. . . Dashell. . . I know that we were off to a great start, but I don't think that we can continue seeing each other."  
  
Dashell lifted his hand to cup Wufei's cheek. Gently brushing his thumb across Wufei's cheek, he asked, "Why's that, 'Fei?"  
  
Wufei gulped. He really had liked this guy, but it just didn't feel right. "I. . . I have to let some of my other feelings go before I can ever be true to anyone else. This week together was great but. . . it's also made me realise just how much my feelings for, well. . . these feelings that I have are impending on our relationship. It's not right to date you while I can not give you all of me."  
  
Dashell looked down with understanding. "I didn't think you were putting your whole self into this relationship. But, you know, if you ever get rid of these 'other feelings' I will be there. I really did enjoy our time together."  
  
Wufei smiled at Dashell, leaning into the hand still cupping his chin. Then they parted and made for the door.  
  
Outside the door, Heero was leaning up against the keyhole and jumped back suddenly, 'They're coming!' he mouthed at the others. They all stood around, looking in random directions and trying to look like they weren't doing anything wrong. Duo had his hands behind is back and was whistling lightly.  
  
Wufei and Dashell walked out, holding hands. The four other pilots gasped, thinking that Wufei was about to announce his engagement or something else along those lines. Wufei walked right past them and went to the front door. He opened it with his free hand and waited until Dashell was standing in front of him. Dashell went down a step and looked up at Wufei. "One last kiss?" He asked softly.  
  
"With pleasure." Wufei replied, equally as quiet.  
  
They leant in a pressed a chaste kiss to each others lips. It was a final farewell, the last goodbye. They parted, hugged and then Dashell made his way to his car. Wufei looked after Dashell long after his car had left his line of sight, wishing that his feelings were different.  
  
Quatre's gentle cough brought him out of his reverie.  
  
Wufei wiped his arm on his sleave before turning to the others. "Oh, right. Okay everyone! Let's go into the lounge room."  
  
None mentioned anything about having noticed Wufei's shining eyes. They didn't know what had passed between Wufei and the stranger, but it must have been something serious for Wufei's composure to be this cracked.  
  
They all sat in various places in the lounge room while Wufei made his excuses to go and complete dinner for them. He never mentioned being upset at their obvious eavesdropping previously, which made Trowa concerned. Wufei was not normally the sort to let something like that slide. Quatre was also concerned, as Wufei's emotions were extremely jumbled. He was hard- pressed trying to figure out anything that Wufei was feeling, the messages were that messed up.  
  
Wufei stood looking into space in the middle of his kitchen. He was trying to think but failing, trying to slip into a meditative state and failing at that as well. It was getting slightly frustrating.  
  
Trowa stepped in the room and watched Wufei for a time. He was joined shortly afterwards by Quatre. Wufei's posture was taut, and the muscles of his back were obviously tense and strained. Trowa was the first to act, moving to place a comforting arm around Wufei's back and standing in front of the Chinese man.  
  
Wufei jumped at the unexpected contact and relaxed when he noticed it was Trowa. He heard the soft 'ffftttt' that announced Quatre's movements. It hadn't occurred to Wufei before how much of a nuisance that the walking stick that Quatre needed was to stealth. Not that they would need stealth capabilities anymore.  
  
Quatre moved up behind Wufei and wrapped his arms around Wufei's waist. Wufei tensed slightly, and then relaxed again. They were just doing this as friends. Trowa moved his hand to cup Wufei's cheek. "Are you alright?" He asked in his quiet voice.  
  
"I. . . That guy, Dashell. . . I was. . . well, I started dating him just after Christmas. Actually, it was on boxing day. And. . . we really hit it off. But. . . oh, it's my own stupid fault. . ." Wufei stopped as his voice cracked and his shoulders hitched with his breathing.  
  
Quatre rubbed Wufei's back with his cheek, lending whatever support he could. He also tried to convey calm feelings with his space heart. He hated to see Wufei like this. He had always cared about Wufei almost as much as he cared about Trowa, and he knew that his feelings could progress to equal Trowa if Wufei had ever shown the slightest interest. He knew that Trowa felt the same.  
  
Wufei calmed slightly. Trowa lifted Wufei's face again at looked into the shorter man's eyes. Looking into Wufei's eyes, Trowa couldn't help it. No matter what Wufei had been through, he could think of nothing but the want to kiss those perfect lips.  
  
Trowa lent in, tucking his hair behind his ear with his free hand while doing so. He gently brushed his lips with Wufei's, then pulled back, embarrassed at his lack of control.  
  
Wufei stood stock still, shock making it impossible for him to move at the moment. Had Trowa just kissed him? Or was it an illusion brought on by his newly realised /strong/ feelings for the two pilots near him? He couldn't tell. His lips tingled from the barely touching brush of Trowa's lips.  
  
Quatre snorted something that sounded strangely like 'hog' and turned Wufei around in his embrace. Seeing as Wufei hadn't rejected Trowa he thought that he might as well express his feelings for Wufei as well.  
  
Wufei moved easily to Quatre's bidding because shock was still effecting his mind and his ability to process what exactly was going on. He felt as though he was in a dream, watching himself from outside his body with a strange detachment. Quatre's walking stick clattered to the ground just as Quatre locked lips with the still shocked Chinese man. The sound of Quatre's walking stick falling broke Wufei out of his faze and he responded to Quatre's kiss, going as far as to open his mouth to Quatre's requesting tongue.  
  
Trowa made an appreciative noise behind Wufei. This made Duo, still in the lounge room; perk his ears, and move to the doors which lead to the kitchen.  
  
Trowa came up behind Wufei and slipped his arms around Wufei's body underneath Quatre's. He pressed gentle kisses along Wufei's neck and shoulders. Wufei broke away from Quatre soon after Trowa began to become more adventurous with his hands. He moved out of the joint embrace and took a step back.  
  
"W. . . What brought this on?" He asked, gulping at the air slightly.  
  
"Um. . . you look really cute when you vulnerable?" Quatre said, a faint blush tinting his cheeks. He was trying to stay upright from the feelings overwhelming feelings that kissing Wufei had evoked, and his leg wasn't helping him keep his balance.  
  
"But, you have each other. That's why I never. . . you don't have room in your hearts for any other!" Wufei said, a faint flicker of hope appearing in his heart even as he protested.  
  
"I wouldn't say that, would you, Quatre?" Trowa asked. At Quatre's agreement he continued. "We both have room in our hearts to love you, if that's what you want."  
  
Wufei looked dumb-struck for a moment, and then embraced them both, throwing his arms around their necks and pressing kisses to each of their cheeks. "I. . . thankyou, thankyou both. You have no idea how complete that makes me feel."  
  
Quatre and Trowa smiled at each other. This was what they had wanted for a long time now. Who knew that Wufei had wanted it as well? All three began to take advantage of their newly discovered feelings for each other - pressing kisses to any area of skin that could be reached in their current attire.  
  
Duo had made his way stealthily to the door and opened it as the other three pilots were very involved in each other. "Yo, Heero! Get a load of /this/!"  
  
Heero sprinted to where Duo was just as the other three broke apart. "Damn, you missed the /hottest/ threesome!"  
  
Heero looked disbelievingly at Duo then at the three on the floor of Wufei's kitchen. His eyes threatened to bulge out of his head. "Woah! Damn, I did miss out!" Heero said to Duo.  
  
Trowa stood up gracefully, running his hand through his slightly dishevelled hair before lending a hand to Wufei and then grabbing Quatre's walking stick while Wufei helped the blonde up.  
  
Wufei said in an undertone to Quatre as he was helping the other up. "You know, that leg of yours is going to give us brilliant excuses for some /very/ creative positions."  
  
Quatre flushed as Trowa handed the walking stick over, and for once was grateful for the accident. It was the first time that he had felt anything good about his misfortune since it had occurred.  
  
Heero and Duo smirked at the pair before smirking at the oven. "Hey, Wufei? Because you were paying attention to people instead of your animals I think that we're going to have to order take-out." Heero said.  
  
Duo smiled and nodded towards the oven so that Wufei understood their reference.  
  
"Oh, that's ok." Wufei replied, smirking evilly. "That's desert for you two because you both don't like baked cheese cake. I thought that I would make and apple pie for you both, but it doesn't look like you can have it now."  
  
Heero and Duo glared nearly identical glares before Duo retorted. "Well, where the hell is dinner, then?"  
  
Wufei moved to the black fridge and removed cold salads, seafood and Japanese New Year cakes. Heero looked longingly at the Japanese food that Wufei was revealing. Duo looked longingly at the assorted seafood. Trowa and Quatre gazed at the lot, noting the impressive lengths that Wufei had gone to so that everyone had a meal that they liked.  
  
While everyone was gazing at his cooking, Wufei removed the nearly black apple pie. He cut the top off expertly to make a semi-apple tart. He left it to cool while he grabbed the drinks.  
  
Once he had set everything up in the dining room, he went back into the kitchen, where everyone was still gazing at the food. Sighing slightly he picked up two platters and carried them into the adjoining room. Once the platters were picked up, the other pilots sprung into action and brought in the rest.  
  
Wufei tied his hair back, which was in little plaits with red streaks, and moved to the head of the table. The others chose their seats and everyone sat down to enjoy their meal.  
  
~*~  
  
Duo ran his hand through his hair again. Heero caught it and moved slightly so that he could do it. Duo relaxed - there wasn't much he liked more than a head massage from Heero. He lifted one of his own hands and ran it through Heero's ponytail. The bristling ends felt so different to his own hair when it had been the same length.  
  
Wufei and Quatre were sitting together on a hammock. Trowa was further back in the yard, preparing the fireworks. Wufei's hands absently rubbed Quatre's leg, stilling every so often while Wufei pressed a kiss to Quatre's temple. Quatre's head leaned up against Wufei's shoulder and he hadn't felt so at peace with himself in a long time.  
  
It was surprising how quickly Trowa, Wufei and Quatre had slipped into 'old relationship' actions. They weren't acting like Wufei had just joined them that night, continuing as though Wufei had been with them their entire relationship. It was slightly strange to Wufei, but he felt like it was right. He did the right thing in letting Dashell go tonight. He had what his heart had desired for some years now as a result.  
  
Wufei could remember a time when he would have refused to talk to a gay couple merely because it went against his teachings. A threesome of any sexual arrangement would have seemed absolutely disgusting. And yet, now, the love and acceptance he felt. . . it was good. He could never return to the person he had been before, and he was sure that Quatre and Trowa couldn't either. The changes that they had undergone over time had resulted in the happiness of today.  
  
Anastasia  
  
~*~ Proud member of SDDI ~*~ ~*~ Proud member of SDQB ~*~ -~-~-~General of the Baka Brigade!!~-~-~-~- 


	6. Duo's Story

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//Time, look where we are and what we've been through  
  
(look where we are)  
  
Time, sharing our dreams (dreams, dreams, dreams, oh yeah)  
  
Time, (goes on and on) goes on and on everyday (everyday)  
  
Time is what it is (Oh)  
  
Come what may (come what may)//  
  
Duo:  
  
I am glad that Wufei found his happiness with Quatre and Trowa. Their relationship is going to be some balanced. It's strange, but I don't think that if they had still been the people they were during the wars they would have completed each other as perfectly as what they seem to do now.  
  
Even though Heero and I made a really big deal about it, I know that he's as happy as I am. We're the jokers of the family that the five of us have become.  
  
I sometimes miss being the only light in the group. I really enjoyed being the only one who could bring a smile to everyone's face, including Wufei's, after a long and bloody battle. I wouldn't give up until I had received even the smallest flicker of a true, happy smile from everyone.  
  
Not that my smile had been real then. After all that I had been through, how could my smile ever be real? It was a mask hiding my depression and self loathing. Heero was the only one who saw through it, who tried to make me act like myself.  
  
I still use masks to hide myself, but doesn't everyone? It's my belief that there aren't many people at all who put themselves, their real selves, out on display for all to enjoy. It's equivalent to stripping off all of your clothes and asking people what they think. Heero has seen the real me.  
  
After the wars were over and Heero was sure that the threat to peace was over he was lost. Totally lost. I was lost as well, as I didn't have a reason to be that happy. We were both lost in a new world that we knew nothing about. I resorted to drugs, going clubbing, getting drunk and high.  
  
I found Heero at one of the bars that I frequented because of the quality of the drugs that was sold there. He was sitting at the bar, stabbing himself with a toothpick, of all things. I didn't realise that it was really him because of the drugged state I was in. But once Heero saw me, he took me to his hotel and helped me recover. Once I was lucid, I couldn't believe Heero. He was numerous scars, knife slashes, burns, careless grazes and cuts. But I knew that I had to help him. It was what I needed to do and it gave me a purpose. However, because of my withdrawal, I couldn't help him to begin with. He help me instead. He dragged me to every place where I had let what had happened in the past, in another time, drag me down.  
  
The final place he dragged me was the ruins of the Maxwell Church. I sat and cried for a whole hour, finally letting the past stay in the past. I pulled out a small dagger after I had finished crying. I grasped my braid in my hand, took a deep breath and sliced through the thick strands. My hair had fallen unevenly about my face as I sat on my knees with my head bowed. I threw the braid on the ground and smashed my lighter on it. I watched it burn.  
  
That was my final act of letting go. After that Heero held me for a while then we had made our way back to the hotel that we were staying in. After that, I had taken Heero on a little journey of his own.  
  
Once we had both put our pasts behind us our feelings for each other had deepened. We had seen beyond the masks that are common place protection and hadn't been repulsed by what we found. We had both found someone who was so alike as to be a twin, and yet so different that we could have been a member of a different kingdom (biological kingdom, of course).  
  
Now, the masks that we use to help protect us from the real world are almost identical. We never wear them when we are in private, however. That is one thing that we will never do. It's our faith and trust in each other that allows us to do this.  
  
It's strange to think that someone as stoic and mission obsessed as Heero could ever have shown one of the happiest (to all outward appearances) person how to live. He showed me, the life of the group, how to truly laugh. The thought crosses my mind everyday that I have to thank him from saving me from my half existence, but the words can never form in my mouth. Perhaps he already knows.  
  
~~  
  
Once upon a time my only dream was to get off the streets. No, wait, before that my only dream was to not be an orphan, for my parents to magically appear and reclaim me as their own. Then my dream was to get off the streets. While the first dream never came true, the second one did. Maxwell church saved me.  
  
That was how all of my dreams progressed. Alternating between coming true and not. One after another. It's a shame that so much of my early life was wasted dreaming. But I wouldn't change it - I am who I am because of it.  
  
I might regret some of my decisions one day. But I know that as long as I keep close to my heart the fact that it's passed and I can never go back, I know that it can't bother me to much. Heero told me what one of his mentor's last messages to him was - follow your emotions and you can never regret what you have done. So I think I will follow that advice for the rest of my life.  
  
What's in the past should stay in the past - time is what it is. Heero's first true, heartfelt message to me when I cried in front of him for the first time will say with me forever.  
  
Anastasia  
  
~*~ Proud member of SDDI ~*~ ~*~ Proud member of SDQB ~*~ -~-~-~General of the Baka Brigade!!~-~-~-~- 


	7. Heero's Story

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//So here we are (here we are)  
  
And we'll always stay together  
  
And through it all you know we owe it all to you, you, you, you  
  
Time goes on and on//  
  
Heero:  
  
My eyes drift shut again and I forced them to open with a jolt. I can't go to sleep yet, I just can't. Drinking always makes me sleepy, though. But I can't let my guard down with Duo drinking as well. He asked me to keep an eye on him, to make sure that he didn't go back to the way he used to be, even for one night. He's alright now, very drunk and he is going to have a splitting headache tomorrow, but he doesn't seem to be acting the way he used to. He won't be able to have any alcohol for quite a while after this, just in case.  
  
Where would I be without Duo, I wonder? I don't think it's possible that I would still be alive. Duo is my main reason for living. I am partially ashamed at how much I relied on Duo for a very long period of time. He was more than a support, he was the only thing keeping me together and standing.  
  
A gentle sigh brings me out of my momentary self-hate session. Duo, laying on my lap and blurting random obscenities at 'those damn OZ-ies', shifts and faces towards me. I smile softly and then brush his hair gently away from his face. He's so cute when he's unconscious, as strange as it sounds.  
  
The other went to bed a while ago, together. I smirk slightly at the thoughts of what they'll be getting up to tonight. I don't think I'll be getting any, what with Duo totally out of this planet. He'll wake up in a few hours and he grouchy, yelling at random objects, and then he'll go back to sleep again. He has the weirdest patterns when he's been drinking.  
  
I'm actually feeling quite sick at the moment. Apart from the desperate need for sleep that has overcome me, I think that I drunk a little to much. I think I need to think of something else, otherwise I am going to have to wake Duo up, and I don't feel up to facing him at the moment.  
  
Who did I use to be, I wonder. I know that I am a totally different person now, and that who I was before didn't talk as much, but I don't actually know what sort of person I was seen as by other people. Sure, I know now, but that's because my friends actually tell me. No one used to mention who I was, they just ignored me unless they had mission details. Duo was the only one who really bothered to talk to me, to get to know me.  
  
That was why I became to upset over the space that was created between Duo and myself after the wars. Well, it wasn't just Duo, everyone was distant just after the mairemeia incident. Duo went off after staying with Hilde for a while, Quatre was caught up with taking care of his business, Trowa was out and about with the circus and Wufei was helping Sally for a while. I had no idea that everyone was in the same position that I was in - lost and alone in a world without purpose.  
  
I went out, trying to find a way to fill this gaping hole I had inside of me. Eventually I found that, for a brief period of time, I could find a purpose if I. . . well. . . if I made myself bleed. So that's what I did, randomly causing myself pain. Then I met Duo again and I found another purpose. After that, he helped me find myself. I must admit, I took a lot of my inspiration from Duo.  
  
Duo stirs again on my lap with a moan. He's going to wake up soon, and then we'll have to go back to bed - after he has broken a few lamps. I think this is the only time that I don't really like to be around Duo. But I have to stick it out - I promised. It part of the promise of being together.  
  
Anastasia  
  
~*~ Proud member of SDDI ~*~ ~*~ Proud member of SDQB ~*~ -~-~-~General of the Baka Brigade!!~-~-~-~- 


	8. New Year's Day

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing, Backstreet Boys (Or their songs) or anything else I happen to use in this fic.  
  
//Time (Time), look where we are and what we've been through  
  
Time, sharing our dreams  
  
Time, (goes on and on) goes on and on everyday (everyday)  
  
Time is what it is(Time is what is it)//  
  
New Years Day:  
  
"Urngh. . ." Duo walked into Wufei's kitchen clutching his head with one hand and shielding his eyes with his other. "Wha' time izit?"  
  
"Midday, Maxwell. Glad you could join us." Wufei replied.  
  
"Shhhh!" Whispered Heero, stumbling up behind Duo.  
  
Quatre began to laugh at the pair but at an equally hung-over glare from Trowa he shut up.  
  
"Igune. . . back to bed." Duo mumbled, grabbing a bottle of water, a pack of asprin and bag of cookies for later.  
  
Heero and Trowa both seemed to agree with Duo's motion and almost completely copied Duo's actions - minus the cookies. They all stumbled out of the kitchen, trying to avoid the places where the light leaked in through the black curtains.  
  
"Less than three Asprin, Duo!" Quatre called out at the retreating man.  
  
A cat-like hiss was the only reply.  
  
"I don't think they like the fact that we are the only ones who still refuse to drink." Wufei commented.  
  
"I think I'd have to agree with you. Do you want to go out?"  
  
"Sure, where to?"  
  
"Maganac's current residence. I need to wish them a happy new year!"  
  
Wufei nodded. He would go anywhere to avoid being around when one of the three recovered from their hang-over before the others. It would be hell on Earth for a time. Especially if either Duo or Heero recovered.  
  
~*~  
  
"Um, Heero, you know that I didn't really mean to rip out /that/ much hair, don't you?" Duo asked timidly of a brooding Heero.  
  
"/That much/? So you meant to pull out some?! In case you don't remember, Duo, you would piss your pants, throw a temper-tantrum and then trash three separate houses before running a mile if someone even removed one precious strand of hair from your head when it was long!" Heero paced around the room, waving his arms around dramatically to emphasise his point.  
  
"Oh, please. /That's/ an exaggeration if ever I heard one. Or are you trying to bring up ancient history? About that time that we were together on that preventers mission? Puh-lease! I took out less hair than you lose in a day!"  
  
"You have DOUBLED my hair loss or the day, No Tripled it! AH! You're giving me a headache. I am going for a walk." And with that Heero grabbed his coat and nearly flew past Quatre and Wufei, who were just entering the house after their little trip out."  
  
"Heero woke up first?" Wufei asked, unable to resist having a little fun with the American pilot.  
  
"Shutup. I don't want to see you, animal-lover."  
  
Wufei smirked. He knew that the pair would be over it soon, they just needed a little time to cool off so that their 'make-up' would be enjoyable. He and Quatre moved to the lounge room, where Trowa was reading a book curled up like a contented cat. It still surprised Wufei, even after last night, how flexible Trowa was.  
  
Duo was huffing and puffing in the hall, muttering about Heero being unreasonable. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration numerous times. He looked worriedly at the door every few minutes. Quatre and Wufei had moved into the lounge, so there was no one for him to vent his anger upon at first. Now there was no one to listen to his concern.  
  
Within ten minutes of Duo really starting to worry, Heero slammed open the door, puffing as though he had just ran quite a way. "Shit. . . Sorry Duo. I didn't mean. . . I know what this day is to you. Sorry."  
  
Duo ran up to Heero, thinking of the first day that he had been taken into the Maxwell Church orphanage. Heero held him for a little while and then lifted Duo's chin to look him in the eyes. He gently lowered his head to Duo's, pressing a soft, caressing kiss to Duo's lips. Then, by unspoken agreement, they both made their way to their shared room. Perhaps the only way to forget the past, for them, was to lose themselves in the present and to look toward the future.  
  
Quatre sat down heavily and appeared to relax once Heero and Duo were seen walking past the doorway to the lounge. Wufei could tell that he wasn't really relaxed, though he didn't know what was really wrong. Perhaps he never would. Trowa looked up with concern from his book, looking Wufei in the eyes to find out what was wrong. This was going to take some time - to heal Quatre and to understand each other to the fullest extent. It was going to work out but to what extent? Only time would tell.  
  
//Time, goes on and on everyday, Time is what it is  
  
Come what may.  
  
Come what may//  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*  
  
MUAHAHAHAHAHA ------ SEE?? I was doing this instead of GTE and Tears!! Review them all and I shall Post More!!! (of the others)  
  
I also have another fic in the works. I would love it if someone wanted to read it and give me ideas and stuff. Just told me what they think. It'd be Greatly appreciated. Just express interest in a review if you want to have a look!! (there's only a chapter and a half but I just wanna know what ppl think.)  
  
Anastasia  
  
~*~ Proud member of SDDI ~*~ ~*~ Proud member of SDQB ~*~ -~-~-~General of the Baka Brigade!!~-~-~-~-  
  
If you Review, I shall post much faster and write more! Just give me a one liner if your lazy, Pleeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee???? *Puppy dog eyes* 


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